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Last week, the galaxies came to a standstill, buses and trains came to a halt, Reshammiya choked and Rajnikanth's heart skipped a beat.
All because a slap was heard.
Ace Roy-terse correspondent, Purr-knob, after much coaxing, has finally agreed to share the inside report on what had actually transpired between the two gentle-most cricketers of our time, Freesanth and Bhaaji. Here it is, in his own words:

So, I was wearing my Hay-banned glasses (the ones from my prince-mega-tonne days) and watching the match. The match which I would use to light my see-gar (the one gifted by Fidel Castro, of course). I kept watching it, trying to figure out how it works. Someone helped me out by breathing fire. Literally. Freesanth took the see-gar and just breathed on to it. And then it lit up. I always knew that the guy had a lot of fire. He was on his way to the ground for start of play.

When the match started (the cricket match, dumbheads!), I could see him staring, growling and bowling. In that order. Legend has it that Freesanth can make your ancestors turn in their graves just by talking to you. But I tell you, he is much more than that. He can make steel melt just by looking. It's no wonder then, that the opposition would feel a little high and dry, with him around.

Now to the question as to what had actually happened after the match. I caught up with Freesanth after the incident. To help me light another see-gar of course! Asked him about the slap-stick incident too. Now, Free said it was just another case of his elder brother coming up to him after the match and giving him feedback and hugs and sweet nothings and so on. Bhaaji, his "big brother" had been "watching him" and told him that he was disappointed at Freesanth's unidirectional lexical outbursts. That Freesanth needed more variety in his vocab and more expressions on his face. Free was touched. Figuratively, not literally. But then Bhaaji allegedly also said that Free reminded him of Die-monds, that old friend of his. Bhaaji's words as if slapped his conscience and he broke down. This, mind you, is extremely sensitive information and not to be disclosed to anyone. It's so sensitive that I have wetted the hanky gifted to me lady Die-ana with my tears, as i am preparing this report.

Later on. I caught up with Bhaaji after the incident and here's the transcript of the interview:

Purr-knob: What did actually happen Bhaaji?

Bhajji: (Eyes wide open, bends forward, lands a tight slap on Purr-knob) Don't you know what happened? I was just talking to my younger brother. We both just got a tad too emotional. Free was always the touchy-type. Didn't you see Bharat cry in the Ram-Bharat milaap scene?

Purr-knob: (purring) Oh yes.

Bhaaji: Why do you guys make somethings out of nothings? Why target peaceful people like us?

Purr-knob: (rubbing his cheeks) You know, you reminded me of a young Mohammad Ali when I interviewed him just after his first world championship win. He punched me just as hard. But of course the blow was nothing compared to what Ravi Shankar gave me with his sitar after his first Woodstock when I complimented him on his uncanny proficiency with that longish, odd-looking guitar as I had knowledgeably termed that. But even you are quite good with your paw.

Bhaaji: (picks up his cricket bat)

Purr-knob: (jumps out of the window, runs and shouts) Paw-Bhaaji! Paw-Bhaaji!

P.S. Another piece of exclusive news from Purr-knob's secret files of the Bhaaji case down under where Bhaaji was accused of making racist comments to a certain And-rue Die-monds:
During the hearing by the appeals commission, a monkey was paraded in front of the panel. Everyone exclaimed "Die-monds" seeing him. The judge saw the point and Bhaaji was set free.

More on that later.